Transylmania
2009
A young, honeymooning couple stop for the night at an ancient castle. Unbeknownst to them, the castle is home to a horde of vampires who have their own plans for the couple.
Natalie Perrey
Antoine
Maid
Isolde
Isa
1st Vampire
2nd Vampire
6/2/2022
5/10
"Isa" (Sandra Julien) and her new husband "Antoine" (Jean-Marie Durand) make that terrible mistake of spending a night of their honeymoon in an old castle. Welcomed with open arms, they soon become aware that they, themselves, may be on the menu for supper as their hosts turn out to be pretty hungry, if somewhat pseudo-intellectual, vampires! Yep, we have seen the plot played out dozens of times before - the only extra thing this brings is a few less clothes on the vampires. Otherwise, it is pretty much devoid of story though it does have a certain production style about it. The use of the light and colour is quite effective - especially in the graveyard, but there is no getting away from the fact that this is very, very slow - with precious little actually going on. The acting is pretty shocking and it is not remotely scary; for that matter not remotely sexy either - it's sort of seedy with plenty of ketchup. Don't hang on the dialogue - in French or subtitled, it brings nothing to it either. This hammy effort is either a feast or famine for your visual senses, depending on your point of view. I probably erred on the latter. That said, I didn't hate it, it does have a certain eeriness to it, but I think perhaps it was just a bit too much of it's time for me - and that certainly isn't 2022.
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