**CAN YOU SAY, ER ... " BADASS-EST " 😅 💥❓ ... { THIS IS A SEMI PARODICAL TITLE } .** A "Good, Old Fashioned" **-{ _B I G_ }-** Screen Review . ______________________________________________________ Letty Ortiz: "Hi, little Brian. I have a gift for you. Your Daddy gave me this, & now I'm going to give it to you. It's very Special { Letty takes off her necklace & puts it around Brian's neck } ...it's for protection... from what's coming" . ______________________________________________________ First & foremost, -{ Not Only }- is this undeniable "behemoth" of a movie, with its USD 200 Million -plus- production budget, broadly speaking, **-{ GENUINELY ✅ }-** enjoyable; but it is -Also- "rather surprisingly", and very reassuringly so . . . " relatively " . . . -very- Family Friendly, indeed. As a doting -{ _P a r e n t_ }- , I had, to be very honest, expected -Considerably- worse; given what the 'seemingly standard trend' with Blockbuster-fare ( on -this- magnitude, atleast ) is, in this... 'our pretty, darn reckless' ..day and age . Moreover, I just **-{ LOVE 👏 }-** how the movie ...unreservedly... -not only- "laughs out loud" -{ at itself }- of course , but often -Also- seems like it's having a 'rollicking good time' doing it. For -all- the 'Contrarian'-reviewers on a very similar platform to this known as 'IMDb' { that appear absolutely -Bent- on picking this fairly "lighthearted" & essentially **" PLAYFUL "** picture apart for just about 'every conceivable reason under the sun' }: I have -just- 3 'Profound' words to say to you: "Watch It Again". Because that is -just- what I did, & I ended up enjoying it -{ way }- more the second time around ; managing to, on the one hand, clear up -Several- of my initial doubts... & on the other ; to -{ truly }- appreciate how ( actually ) "Un"-seriously ..."F9" really takes itself. Keep your eye out for the tiny but absolutely -{ hilarious❗}- little "Who's Dominic Toretto?" scene ; you'll get a better feel for what I mean. But let me be .."Starkly".. clear. -{ In no way }- is my review title meant to suggest to you, -even remotely- , that this is somehow 'the best cinematic offering on earth' right now, or -any- such manner of preposterous thing. The pointed -{ reason }- , as it were, for my use of the -decidedly- " Lively " , Benignly Parodical, & even "mildly histrionic" , film review -Title- that you see above, is, quite simply , 'as follows' . ----- " It's a well known fact by now that the -{ Ever }- grandiose pictures of the 'Fast And Furious' franchise seem to -forever- be looking to " One Up Themselves " , in terms of making their vehicular ( in particular ) action sequences -{ well and truly }- " One-Of-A-Kind " . In keeping with this 'practically-Sacrosanct ( 🙏 😅 )' , time honoured tradition . . . . F9's very accomplished 'In-house' writer-Director Justin Lin has ( -Yet- ) again proven that he most certainly is the very 'living embodiment' of this rule, by taking those wild & wacky ( bespoke ) 'Gas-Guzzler Gymnastics' of his all the way , you guessed it , to -{ Outer Space }- . . . . not to mention all the -many, many- other ( almost ) as utterly, utterly, utterly '_Ludacris_' stunts performed ...seemingly as if... 'by all those Mega-fancy automobiles themselves'. ( Watch the final -official- trailer for F9 , if it's still going to be a while before said movie hits your part of the world ). So there you have it. Hence that 'affectionate little touch' of, well , " Classic-hyperbole " , in my review-Title . " ----- And so, in closing, here are the things I consider to be the -{ Most }- likeable, about the picture. 1 : The ever-fresh, ever-sweet rapport that 'Dominic Toretto' ( Vin Diesel ) has with 'Letty Ortiz' ( Michelle Rodriguez ). 2 : The { Un }-deniable " Brilliance 🌠 " , really , with which -Several- mind bogglingly complex, & indeed, 'super-Protracted' multiple vehicle chase & combat scenes were put together. 3 : -All- those "giant-Magnet special effects", ( this is -Also- teased in the trailers, which are freely available to watch on youtube ), meticulously crafted to, frankly, ".nothing less than sheer -{ Perfection }- " . 4 : The film's -{ Delectable }- smattering of short, nonetheless utterly -Classic- " Movie-Reincarnation sequences " . Meaning . . . { action or comedy ( or both ) 'Re-works' of -Well- established , ( & often beloved, even ) , " Universally Iconic Cinematic-moments " } . . . which in the case of F9 ...{ Un }-mistakably... were sequences that hearkened -Right- back to a few ( very ) specific, timeless, & -Massively- popular scenes from A : 'Jurrasic Park-Part One', B : 'Terminator Three-Rise Of The Machines' ( **-OR-** 'The Dark Knight' : your prefererence, really ), & C : 'Austin Powers-Part One', -even- , just to name the ( Most 💙 ) notable ones. 5 : And last but by no means the least : there really -{ Was }- a whole lot of -actually- funny stuff in F9. And I am, -of course- referring here to -Very- many moments of "Unabashedly-Dumb Frivolity" involving , ( but not limited to ) ; none other than the " Uber-talented " Tyrese Gibson, ( 'Roman' ), & his -equally- Fun partner-in-comedy, Ludacris ( 'Tej' ) ; with the ever charming Nathalie Emmanuel ( 'Ramsey' ) chiming in 'most pleasantly' from time to time, for good measure . Summary : If you -{ Didn't }- come to F9 to see cars flying in, well, -outer space- , ( and other such " _Colossally_ " Zany-things ) , then you -most certainly- came to the wrong place. { Translation } : if you're ( one of those ) the -'Many, Many'- ( aforementioned ) negative-reviewers, and feel like you were ( -better- ) suited to simply watching 'Normal' cars just driving around, well... 'Normally' ...& -{ Not }- doing a multitude of "crazy & extraordinary" things ; then can I -very humbly- recommend, say, ....going & sitting down at a nearby bus-stop, & watching 'The Street'.... -{ Instead }- . Because, 'for better or worse', -this- movie does -{ Exactly }- what it says on the tin , " & Then Some " . Furthermore, the two -Main- Male "Lead-pairs", namely, A : Vin Diesel and John Cena ; and B : Vinnie Bennett and Finn Cole, ( a.k.a 'Young Dom', and 'Young Jakob' ), play -{ remarkably }- well off one another ; whilst -All- the "Leading Ladies" plunge headfirst into this veritable, **-{ MINDLESS }-** Fun-Fest , " With A Vengeance " . So it's going to be a generous, -{ "Very Grateful" }- , and decidedly " pandemic-Considerate " 7.75 Marks Out Of 10.00 from me. Well, only one thing left to say, then. **" _I G N I T I O N_ 😅❗ " .**

I watched the film, but it didn't appeal to me as much as the prior films. The change in theme and concept was one of the things that bothered me the most in this film. From street racing and minor crimes, the movies evolved into an idea of saving the planet. Okay, that's wonderful; you can save the world; however, how can someone reach space in his car and survive? Seriously? I don't recall this being fast and furious. The plot was similar to earlier films and revolved around Hobbs and Shaw. The story was not exceptional in any way. And, when it comes to action, it was unrealistic and unbelievable. Thousands of cars followed Dom's crew, and thousands of guys with bullets and automatic weapons fired at them, but nothing happened to them. No one was hurt in any way. Are they immortals? I felt the absence of screenwriter Chris Morgan as the structure and storytelling were sloppier to the overall detriment of the film.

To some degree, with maybe the exception of Tokyo Drift and Fate of the Furious, I've enjoyed these Fast and Furious movies. Yes, they are dumb and have over-the-top action, CGI-generated, scenes yet despite that found them to be mindless entertainment with the only merit being the chemistry with the cast. However, with Fate of the Furious and the absence of Paul Walker, the series lost that aspect. Walker wasn't a great actor but he and Diesel were great together, along with the others in the ensemble where I could overlook the stupid moments. This ninth entry, as most sequels do, takes it to the next level of absurdity but this time I really could not care less about anything going on. The action scenes were pretty lame and even though it was a joke taking the movie into space, I didn't think they'd actually do it... I could only shake my head at that sequence. Then there's the whole bringing Han back to life. They have now retconned his scene for a second time and somehow, despite this being an outlandish franchise, cheapens any character development for Deckard Shaw (his entire reason for "killing" Han was out of revenge for putting his brother in a coma, although IIRC initially Owen Shaw was thought to have been killing in Fast Five). They try to add some BS depth with faith and, of course, FAMILY, that doesn't land. Hell, there's even discussion from Roman (Tyrese) about being invincible played as a joke only to come true once he and Tej go into space to stop a satellite and actually f'ing survive. The film also is a greatest hits with the return of characters from previous entries including Helen Mirren, Lucas Black, Kurt Russell, Charlize Theron, Shea Whigham (had to look him up, he was in Furious 6), Sung Kang, Shad Moss (aka Bow Wow), etc. Plus Jason Statham makes an uncredited cameo. Boy, yeah the Fast franchise jumped the shark a while back but this one is on the bottom of the list. I don't know how they will right the ship with #10 (and supposedly the last) but the issue with these sequels is they have to top the previous no matter what. Dumb is fine. Lazy not so much. **2.25/5**

Well they did sub-title this a "saga", but I wasn't quite expecting something this poor. Things didn't auger well when the cinema screen broke down and we were turfed out after thirty minutes. Next week, back for part two - complete with "an opportunity to refresh our memories" as the cinema lad put it... Sadly, though, the first half hour provides us with easily the most entertaining elements of this otherwise weak story bereft of just about everything bar some super stunts/visual effects and Charlize Theron locked up in a plastic cage. There is some effort made to create some characters, and Vin Diesel does bring a certain degree of charisma to the screen, but after an initial flurry of decent motor sport action, we drop from a great height into a family revenge/melodrama that has only one, entirely predictable, conclusion. It is a piece of harmless escapism that serves to divert us from reality for an extremely overlong 2 hrs and 20 minutes but this franchise really misses Paul Walker and although I'm sure nobody will listen, this is not much of a testament to his memory and ought to be the last unless someone is going to revamp the concept thoroughly and invest in solid stories and characters to compliment the endless, and increasingly sterile, visuals. I want one of those planes, though....