The Silence mutes any and all brain activity, sending viewers into a quiet sleep. “Shhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet! I’m hunting carnivewous ancient bats!”. For even the most minuscule of noises will send a swarm of ‘Pitch Black’ ‘Doctor Who’-esque bat demons that will scratch, bite and gnaw at your flesh. Based on a novel apparently, however any and all originality was tossed out of the family car window when both the superior ‘A Quiet Place’ and hugely popular ‘Bird Box’ were capitalising on the whole “sense prevention” horror schtick. Basically, it’s both those films put together. Ancient bat creatures are released from an uncharted cave system and are terrorising the continent of North America, where we follow a family trying to survive and reach a refuge. Problem is, this family is so chilled and relaxed during this heightened state of emergency, that any and all threat is relinquished from the nonchalant acting and careless attitudes. Urgh, honestly! Leonetti is doing his absolute best in unimaginatively mimicking other similar films, where veteran and all-round talent Tucci is waltzing around the countryside showing a face of “I can’t be bothered, release me from this torturous nightmare”. Plagued by infuriatingly stupid plot conveniences and character choices, the severe lack of tension halts the momentum entirely. Heck, it’s not even in neutral anymore. It’s reversing! Examples include (brace yourself...): handing a handgun to the uncle who is then left to die, ginger son conveniently switching cars before one of them veers over a verge, iPhones instantly muting themselves when submerged in water for a total of three seconds and bringing an obviously loud dog with you. That last example, accompanied with an unnecessary scene involving members of the public banishing a mother and her baby due to generating far too much noise, are simply utilised to showcase the destructive nature of humanity. Yup. Humans suck, and this film wants you to know that. You shan’t be scared by the horrifically visualised bat demons that look smoother than Tucci’s bald head. It’s the characters that’ll get under your skin and infuriate you. Need more proof? The entire third act. Father and daughter wander off to the nearest pharmacy, surprisingly making zero noise whatsoever on the way there, and encounter a mentally unstable reverend who yearns to fertilise young girls to maintain the population and chop their tongues off (after the foreplay, obviously...). What. The. Hell? That was so left field that even the flying angels didn’t see that coming. The narrative focus shifts constantly, making an already boring premise even more tediously mundane. Aside from one sacrifice towards the conclusion that had some emotional gravitas, The Silence offers nothing more than another forced extraction of this now dull horror concept. Actors weren’t trying, direction was unstable and the insufficient amount of scares were, well, insufficient. Oh wait, I forgot! It literally ends on the daughter becoming survivalist-styled Lara Croft and hunting these winged menaces down. Oh no no! I’m done! Just watch ‘A Quiet Place’ instead...