Hello rock, this is me in between you and the hard place. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), Johnny Storm (Chris Evans), Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) & Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon). All set off on a space mission that sees them engulfed by a mysterious storm that imbues them all with different special powers. Fantastic Four is arguably the most loved on the page of the super-group comic book creations. Certainly it's Marvel's flagship offering in that corner of the super hero market. Odd then, that when it finally makes it to the big screen they throw money at it but employ the director of "The Firing Squad" & "Taxi"? The whole film reeks of nervousness, with director Tim Story either fearful of making a hash of said flagship movie, or worse still, being directed himself by studio executives fearful of making a hash of said flagship movie. While the casting of Gruffud (dull), Alba (cleavage for hire) and McMahon (out of his depth as a villain) beggars belief. Sloppy CGI fails to ignite what little action there is, while the final smack down as our intrepid 4 battle with Von Doom, is of a TV movie standard. Yet it still has a smidgen of fun about it to warrant investing a damp dark afternoon with. Chiklis and Evans are the plus points, the former injecting a bit of heart into proceedings and the latter some sexiness and some much needed humour. There's also some worth in the script's attempt at messaging about the perils and pitfalls of celebrity status. While who can deny that the first appearance of "flame-on" & "clobbertime" doesn't induce an ickle tingle down the spine of the discerning comic book fan (ok that may just be me hankering for my youth). If only the film wasn't so safe and had been in better hands. But hey! the film turned over a $230 million Worldwide profit, so what do I know eh? The sequel was inevitable, so one can only hope that with the same people involved they not only learn from their guardedness, but that they manage to stay faithful to the source and give it some much needed pizazz. Footnote: The extended cut at twenty minutes longer, suffice to say, is a better experience as it has more pizazz. So 5/10 for the theatrical cut and 6/10 for the extended version.

A terribly wooden Ioan Gruffudd heads the cast of this weak and feeble sci-fi adventure as "Reed Richards" - a career boffin who leads the team of "Ben" (Michael Chiklis) and siblings "Sue" (Jessica Alba) and the cocky "Johnny" (Chris Evans). Funded by "Victor von Doom" (Julian McMahon) they are investigating some spacial anomaly when poor old "Ben" is caught unawares on an EVA and he is exposed to a hefty dose of cosmic radiation. The others thought they were safely behind an impermeable shield but upon their return to Earth they discover that they have some new quirks. "VVD" isn't impressed by this and soon the four must put aside their domestic grievances and unite to combat his ever increasing ambitions - and it turns out that he, being on the ship too, has powers of his own! Aside from the hunky Evans who has the most fun super-power (he can catch fire and fly like a rocket) and easily the most charisma, the rest of the casting is very much by-the-numbers, as is the dialogue and the predictable storyline. The writers have a stab at putting some humour into the film, but no amount of wit is going to help Gruffudd and his unpredictable accent (why did he even bother?) to carry this good looking but poorly delivered helping of Marvel-lite. There is also a little too much simmering romance and envy here to clutter up the main thrust of the lacklustre plot. What we end up with is actually a bit of a mess. To be fair, it does move along well enough and is only 100 minutes, or so, but really - this is an unremarkable effort from all concerned that I doubt I will ever bother watching again.